> A family walks into a talent agency, a mother, a father, a son, a daughter, and an infant. The father tells the agent that they have an act they would like to perform. The agent is skeptical, but he is polite and asks them to describe it before he decides what to do.
> The father starts to describe the act in great detail: it opens on him and his wife waltzing in elegant clothing under a chandelier, with Wagner playing in the background. They hear crying, and cheerily complain about the disturbance as they attend to their infant child, who has shat herself.
> The father proceeds to change the diaper, but while he is not looking the mother takes the infant's poop and smears it in the father's hair. This arouses the father and he rips off his pants to reveal that he has a vagina. The mother screams in pleasure and rips off her own clothing to reveal that she has a dick (the mother butts in to say that her penis is thirteen inches long and will fully erect during the show).
> Then the nine year old son and sixteen year old daughter somersalt onstage. The two start doing acrobatic tricks while the mother and father tear into eachother in the background.
> Wagner is still playing in the background, and as it starts to build, the son picks up the infant daughter and hurls her at his sister, who purposefully steps aside to allow the mother to use her monstrous penis as a baseball bat, and the baby is hit into the audience, where either one of them catches her or she falls to the ground. (The daughter interjects that she plays pitcher on her highschool softball team, and the father proudly pats her shoulder and says that she's lead the team to win two state championships.)
> The son starts crying, and the father steps over to comfort his son by wiping off his tears and rubbing them into his own already dripping vagina. The son stops crying, and starts licking up his tears, causing the father to let out an exaggerated moan (he demonstrates for the horrified talent agent).
> Then the daughter comes up behind them with a knife that she had hidden in her dress, and stabs both of them in the side. The father moans louder, and the son joins in with his own adorably similar version. The daughter stabs her father and brother again and again, and the mother comes over and starts fucking each wound one at a time.
> The music crescendoes when the mother, the son, and the father finally collapse from exhaustion and bloodloss, and the daughter stops stabbing and walks over to her father's vagina and eagerly sticks her entire head in as a grand finale for the act.
> The talent agent's face is contorted into a shape expressing the purest horror capable of being felt by a human, and he stutters for some time before finally being able to ask what they call the act.
> The father cheerfully tells him that they call it "The Aristocrats."
>
> GAME OVER
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