> You challenge the rude old person to see who can throw a thirteen foot wooden pole the best.
> Unfortunately for you, the rude old person was in youth a world renowned champion of that ridiculous sport.
> And unfortunately for your rival, you are a dirty cheating bastard.
>
> You are losing a high-stakes caber toss contest, but you have an unusual degree of control over your own future and you get to chose how exactly you will cheat.
>
> Laxatives are the main way for cheating
> Hey look over there it is a thing
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